With so many responses to “Dear Mom on the iPhone” zipping around the web these last few months, I figured that I should go see what all the huff (counter-huff and supportive-huff) was all about. Last November, a blogger named Tonya Ferguson, who writes her family blog 4littlefergusons, wrote a post that she title, “Dear Mom on the iPhone.” And all  was quiet for Ferguson, until it wasn’t anymore.

Ferguson shares later, after getting all the attention, that it was a hypothetical situation with a hypothetical mother. That she wrote to herself as much as she wrote it to any woman. She doesn’t explain this until after the fact, after garnering the attention and responses, but even that seems reasonable due to the unlikelihood that it would matter much to anyone but her then small readership. She blogs for herself and isn’t, or at least wasn’t, on the radar of other “mommy bloggers” until recently.

Here is a portion of Ferguson’s original “Dear Mom on the iPhone” first posted on November 14, 2012. Click here to go to the her post in full.

Dear Mom On the iPhone,
I see you over there on the bench, messing on your iPhone.  It feels good to relax a little while your kids have fun in the sunshine, doesn’t it?  You are doing a great job with your kids, you work hard, you teach them manners, have them do their chores.
But Momma, let me tell you what you don’t see right now…..
Your little girl is spinning round and round, making her dress twirl.  She is such a little beauty queen already, the sun shining behind her hair.  She keeps glancing your way to see if you are watching her.

You aren’t.

Your little boy keeps shouting, “Mom, MOM watch this!”  I see you acknowledge him, barely glancing his way.
He sees that too.  His shoulders slump, but only for a moment, as he finds the next cool thing to do.
Now you are pushing your baby in the swing.  She loves it!  Cooing and smiling with every push.  You don’t see her though, do you?  Your head is bent, your eyes on your phone as you absently push her swing.
Talk to her.  Tell her about the clouds, Mommy.  The Creator who made them. Tickle her tummy when she comes near you and enjoy that baby belly laugh that leaves far too quickly.

Put your eyes back on your prize…Your kids.

Show them that they are the priority. Wherever you are, be ALL there.  I am not saying it’s not ok to check in on your phone, but it’s a time-sucker: User Beware!

I had actually only heard of original post after reading Fried Okra’s (Megan Cobb) response piece that a friend shared on Facebook. I really liked Fried Okra’s letter to that attention-getting, but yet again, hypothetical mom on the iPhone.

Here is a portion of Fried Okra’s post, “Dear Mom on the iPhone, I get it.” Click here  to read the original post in full.

Dear Mom on the iPhone -

This morning at 6 AM I checked Facebook and saw a letter re-posted by a friend and addressed to you. As I lay there in the grey dawn, listening out for the sounds of my own two kids waking, I pictured your tiny girl spinning in her pretty dress as you completely ignored her, staring transfixed at your phone. What an image, right? An image I think was meant to bring you guilt and shame, written into a “kind” letter under the guise of giving you a gentle reminder that your kids won’t be small forever, and that if you don’t stop using your phone instead of focusing all of your attention on them, all of the time, they’re going to think your phone is more important than they are to you.

Listen, Mom on the iPhone, I’ve met you a million times. You’re my best friend, my sister, the other mom at the bus stop every morning, waving until the bus carrying our kids to school drives out of site. I see you everywhere I go, we smile knowingly over the heads of our kids in the grocery store check-out lane, and you struck up conversation with me at the mini-gym while we watched our 4-year-olds play together last weekend. I read your blogs and empathize with your Facebook posts and talk to you via text and Voxer. We get together for coffee so our boys can play together. We help out at classroom parties together and sit in the lobby of the dance studio while our daughters take ballet. I know you, hundreds of you, and I know your kids aren’t confused about their place in your life because you’re planning next week’s meals while they have some free time on the playground. Don’t buy into the shame and guilt, friend.

From our many interactions, Mom on the iPhone, I’ve seen that you’re smart, capable and resourceful as well as being loving and caring and giving where your family is concerned. So I trust you to know when you and your kids need to give one another your undivided attention, and when it’s okay for you to take a few minutes while they’re occupied to attend to one or two of the myriad of other things for which you’re responsible. I trust that you talk to and laugh with and teach and cuddle your kids enough that they know the difference between being neglected and being allowed a bit of independence to figure out they’re still important and valued even though your world, and the world at large, doesn’t always revolve around them. I trust that when you have doubts or worries or need advice, you use your resources to find answers and solutions to care for and protect your family. You’re an adult with adult responsibilities and you handle them well, Mom on the iPhone, so you’ve earned my respect.

You use your phone to do all the things our Moms did with paper and pens, stamps, recipe files, checkbooks, clocks, timers, typewriters, fax machines, calculators, calendars, phones with cords, newspapers, books, thermostats, televisions, radios, and cameras. Your phone helps you plan, manage and communicate with regard to your job, your household, your family’s schedule, in short, your life from the park. Or the library. Or the pool. Or your child’s hospital room. Or the commuter train. Or Disneyland. You have a phone because it makes you more portable and productive, and that’s beneficial in a hundred ways for you and your family. It’s funny – the author of that letter saw you with your phone and judged you to be “messing.” I wonder if she’d have bothered to write you a cautionary letter if instead of an iPhone, she’d seen you at the park with a video camera or a cookbook or a handwritten note from your mother? I’m willing to bet not. I wonder why your having that phone in your hand makes some people so uncomfortable? Why does a simple piece of technology give a stranger license to accuse you of being a selfish, too-busy, disengaged woman who’s threatening her children’s self-esteem and self worth? We both know that’s not who you are.

Who are you? I’ll tell you who you are.

You’re the mom with the critical project at work who is managing it from the park because the babysitter’s child came down with chicken pox.

You’re the mom, the dear friend of mine, who lives across the country from me but is as close to me as my own heartbeat thanks to our phones.

You’re the mom who is also my sister. Between the two of us we have seven kids, so we’ve both long given up the idea of truly meaningful phone conversations that aren’t interrupted constantly by the needs of our offspring.

And so, Mom on the iPhone, I say carry on. (And you too, Dad on the iPhone, although you seem to have escaped criticism again. And I wonder why that is?) You’re showing your kids how a person can love them fully, take good care of them, get them out and about on a beautiful day, while still being successful in other arenas and managing her other responsibilities, and even take a few minutes to do something that she simply enjoys, just for herself. You have my respect and support. Text me sometime and we’ll play Words with Friends while we wait in the carpool line.

With love and appreciation,

Me

So, there you go. Two different letters–a little of both sides and what overlaps between the two iphone’ing mothers. Honestly, I feel them both, and I can see myself in both.

I try to stay aware any time I am using my phone. Whether I am using my phone to run our home and financial worlds, or skyping with my best friend who lives on another continent while both of our babies nap, or when I am texting with my mom who learned to text in her 70s so she could receive near-daily photos of her grandbabies.

My phone keeps me connect in important ways and it also helps me get my work done quickly and while I am with my son, rather than leaving him with a sitter. I can zip off items to the accountant, transfer funds at the bank and reserve library books for an later pick-up all in 5 minutes flat. I can make quick edits for my clients and turn my work around fast and without being chained to my computer. I see myself actually freeing up time to be with my son by spending some quick, smart minutes on my phone.

And I absolutely use my phone for some “me time” during my day too, because who is anybody kidding, it is great for that. There is no doubt about it. I like to check out recipes while I am cooking, or to take a few minutes to learn how to prune my raspberries properly, or just to take a spin through Facebook for some quick social relief.

All of it is valuable in my book and none of it too much, until it is too much. And we all know when it is, so when we do, it’s time to get really honest with ourselves and straighten up our priorities. (I am taking about our real priorities. You know, the ones you are always answering to, regardless of what you may say your priorities are. Yup, those are our real priorities.)

If your phone use is something that you don’t feel good about, then make a change. If your use is cool? Then phone on, my mothering friends, phone on.

Click here to view the video on YouTube.

Originally shot in August 2012, this video has now garnered over 15 million views on YouTube and has been featured on programs for both ABC and NBC. Take a peek and you will see why.

These adorable girls rock and sway side-by-side to their daddy’s guitar playing while snacking on peas. And the looks that they share between each other are pure happiness.

Source: Unknown

Source: The Skeptical Mother

Source: Sandra Bianco Photography

Source: Huffington Post

Source: Everyday People Cartoons

(Source: idontwannagrowup.com)

(Source: Single Dad Laughing)

(Source: LifeIn the Now)

 (Source: Waldorf Homeschoolers)

(Source: HaHas for HooHas)

(Source: Documenting Delight)

(Source: Dr Momma)

(Source: Smart Ass Mommies)

I cuss. I do. I have wanted to write this post for a while, but honestly I am embarrassed that I use some coarse language on an almost daily basis. I didn’t grow up in a home where cursing was a regular occurrence. In fact, it was rarely heard, even though many a situation could have justified it. Based on my memory, my mother rarely used a swear word that I know of, and my father was the same. I remember my dad “dropping the f-bomb” maybe 2 or 3 times ever in my whole life and it only flew immediately after banging his thumb with a hammer, or something equally painful or blood boiling.

The best I can do to retrace my start with cursing is back to the many years I worked in the restaurant business and then again during my stint as a long-haul trucker (only one of these occupations is true) to put myself through college. Since then, I have tried to clean up my language, once going so far as to give up swearing for Lent, but as God as my witness, I broke out in shingles at the same time as I tried to quit cursing. All my unspoken cusses manifesting themselves as tiny, painful sores across my midsection. I took it as a sign. A sign from something or someone bigger than myself that my cursing actually did good in the world and that I should go forth among the people…kinda sorta.

It could be said that I take a certain amount of quiet pleasure in lacing together a particularly colorful thread of profanity. I like words of all ilk. Maybe it’s a talent I was born with, maybe it is all the practice, but whatever the reasons, and whenever it took hold, I’ve got a potty mouth. I also have a toddler now and this family ain’t big enough for the both of them. In fact one of my mom-friends, who has a teenage daughter, told me that if my boy brought any colorful language to school or to play groups, that other parents would be pretty darn unhappy with me. And at a recent parent-teacher conference, I had another friend who was confronted by her son’s teacher for his heavy usage of the word, “crap” to which I replied to her, “Crap is a bad word?”

I should add, because my own mother is likely to read this and because it is the truth, that I only really cuss in cuss-friendly company and I don’t fly my swearing all loud and proud in public. I personally dislike overhearing strangers swear around me. My ears actually choke on public profanity. I also turn it to mute it when I am around my sweet boy, taking the “GOD BLESS AMERICA” or “Holy Fritz” route, which are two of my mom’s favorites. Sometimes I mess up, either by calling something “stupid” or worse, letting something a little more stiff slip. When I do, I catch myself quickly, throw up a diversion (“Hey look at that pony!”) and promise to do better.

I might have a long way to go, and I might not ever have entirely unblemished  language again, but I figure getting creative would help me make the transition to side of the righteous that much easier. No cold turkey, no quarters in the jar, but focusing my efforts on using creative and equally satisfying words that I would be happy to have come tumbling out my son’s angelic little head.

So here goes nothing. I’ll lead with some family favorites and toss in others as they come to me from friends or desperate times, but you will find that with the right emphasis and enthusiasm, pretty much anything will do the trick.

Son of a Biscuit Eater!  Bull Pucky!  Holy Fritz!  Cheese and Rice!  Judas Priest! Dangnabit! Malarkey!  Porkchop!  Fudgesicle!  Mother Trucker!  GAL durnit!  Squash Monkey! Cheesus Chrysler drives a Dodge!  Holy To-ledo!  Sugar Snaps!  Jumped-up Judas on a Pogo Stick!  Shut the Front Door!  Nuts!  Shiitake!  Crab Bass!  Holy Cheese! Snit Cakes!  Cheesy Weasels!  Pizzle Fits!  Grass Monkey!  Holy Moly! Jeez O Petes!  Mother Father!  Frackity Frack!  Oh Shneikes!  Fungoola!  Peanut Butter!  Shakalaka!  Road Apples!  Son of a Gun! Chicken Dirt!  Zippity Do Dah!  Onomatopoeia!  Jimmy Cracked Corn!

]]> http://www.bobafamily.com/blog/2013/02/17/mom-has-a-potty-mouth-it-is-time-to-own-up/feed/ 1 http://www.bobafamily.com/blog/2012/11/14/leaves-of-change-family-travel-keepsakes-from-nature/ http://www.bobafamily.com/blog/2012/11/14/leaves-of-change-family-travel-keepsakes-from-nature/#comments Wed, 14 Nov 2012 19:00:43 +0000 Heather http://www.bobafamily.com/?p=12748 ...read more >]]>

Sitting here today, watching the southern hemisphere spring emerge, I started thinking of the leaves changing, flowers budding, things growing just as my young baby is growing before my eyes. I thought of my trip back to Boulder last summer and how I plucked some leaves to steal back with me to a wintery Chile in hopes of remembering the Colorado summer. I thought of how I used to save all my flowers from high school, upside down bouquets dry and dusty long after the holidays and dances they represented. I thought of the huge Chilean aromo tree that was in full blazing bloom when our Lil’ Flower was born nearly four months ago. I wanted to go back and pick leaves from the day she was born, save them in a book, a keepsake of all that was happening in nature when she entered the world. I can’t go back, but I can start now (and I will!).

In an age of digital photography and the felt sense seemingly becoming less and less connected with our memories (we used to pick up and touch photos, watch them fade a little, flip them over to remember the exact date scribbled in our own script or that of our mother), having keepsakes you and your child can touch for a lifetime to come seems a special gift. With this in mind, I’ll be keeping special pieces of clothing, locks of hair and other little things in a box for my babe – a sort of memory hope chest. And I’ll be saving leaves. As the world grows more and more digital, I want my children to always be able to hold pieces of their lives in their hands, not just see it on a screen.

Here are a few ways you might also make the greenery around you a way to mark precious times with your children.

Marking Family Travel

Whether from the big oak of your child’s favorite park across town, or from the Banyan trees of northern India, plucking the keepsakes around you can be a fun way to mark where you and your family have been in the world. Think special and mundane; the tree outside your guesthouse, the gardens of an architectural attraction, the path to a train platform, heck even the topiaries of Disney!

Capturing Special Moments In Time

The birth of a child is a great time to collect a few things from nature. They will have been breathing the same air that you and your child were when you first met. After that, there are many sweet and obvious developmental milestones. First laugh, first tooth, first steps, first communion, high school graduation – the list really is endless. And of course, flowers and plants that are gifted your child can be included, too.

Keeping the Passing Seasons

You may consider simply collecting a leaf or two that represents or simply marks the seasons as they pass. Right now, I’ll take a few things to mark Lil’ Flower’s first spring.  I’ll do the same in the summer, autumn and fall.

To keep these moments safe, consider investing in a big, heavy, hard-bound artist sketch diary. This will act as an instant leaf and flower press, and give you clean white pages to note your adventures, details related to the leaves and their coinciding special moments, etc. You can stick in photos and whatnot to increase the memorabilia and even go all-out curly scissor scrapbook on the job. You may also simply want to buy or make a flower press and stick a little note in with each one. When your child has grown, you can gift the press knowing that he or she may want to do their own special things with the contents, or just leave it as is for future generations.

Personally, I’m planning a combo approach, a flower press and notes to be scrapbooked much later when my child (children?) is (are?) older (i.e. when I have more time, ha ha).

A few places to pick up supplies on my favorite shopping site, Etsy.com:

Flower and leaf presses

Especially these…

• Vintage wood flower press and supplies
• Large wood flower press (or book press)

Handmade journals and scrapbooks

Especially these…

• Large handmade wood journals and sketchbooks by Three Trees Bindery (high quality and beautiful!)
• Large leather-bound journal 

For my husband and me, it is great to be home for long stretches of time, but it is also terrific to have a trip on the horizon. We began traveling together in 2005 on our honeymoon. We circled the globe, hitting 18 countries and four continents in less than six months. As a boy, my husband traveled quite a bit with his family due to his father’s work as a research scientist; while I was rooted to an equally wonderful childhood, growing up on a 500-acre working farm in Michigan. The nature of farms and it’s high demands meant that my family took few vacations when I was growing up and lengthy international travel was out of the question. I got my first passport for our honeymoon and I was transformed by my first travels. I became deeply, irreversibly connected to the nomadic side of myself.

My sweetheart and I made a pledge that we would do our very best to leave the country at least once a year for the rest of our lives. And so far, we have. We have planned our travels to accommodate the changes in our lives—traveling to Colombia during my second trimester of pregnancy before heading home to get nesty and prepare for the birth of our son. The next year, we traveled to the Mexican central highlands to celebrate my birthday and our son’s first. This year, we head to Guatemala to celebrate our birthdays again.

It has been almost a year since we last packed our bags, and while the homesteader in me is glad for the chance to garden and to live the easy life at home close to family and friends, the gypsy in me aches for unfamiliar people and far away lands. Here are few ways that my family and I keep our family’s travel spark alive and burning between trips, or at least until the next tickets are booked.

1. The Visual Traveler
We get the colors and sights of our favorite far-away places through travel documentaries, movies and YouTube videos that have been shared by other travelers. Our favorite countries to travel to are India, Mexico, Turkey and Tibet, so we look for everything and anything featuring these countries. The British Broadcasting Company (BBC) and the Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) have produced some terrific travel documentaries and series, like the Story of India hosted by Michael Woods and Himalaya hosted by Michael Palin.

For localized fixes, or special spots off the beaten path, search for videos that fellow travelers may have shared on YouTube. The odds are good that what you are looking for will have been shared here by others who have been to the same area. As an example, there is a wonderful foot bridge in Rishikesh, North India, that I absolutely love and when I need a peek at the happy hullabaloo of passing cows, tourists and saris, I go to YouTube and search out Laxman Jhula bridge. Search out your own favorites when you need a mini-trip.

2. Books
There are so many incredible books ranging from travel memoirs and historical fiction, to spiritual and religious routes and pilgrimages. Check out your local library and book sellers to soak up these printed adventures. For women who dream of traveling there is a wonderful memoir entitle, Tales of a Female Nomad, by Rita Golden Gelman. There is also the world-wide best-seller, Eat Pray Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert. Another excellent book is, Exotic Travel Destinations for Families, by Jennifer and Bill Nichols that showcases 23 exciting countries in six different regions: Europe, Africa, Asia, Central America, South America and French Polynesia.

Also look for travel-minded reading groups at your local library. Your library may already host a travelers’ book club that highlights books that you and fellow wanderlusters would love to read and discuss together. If one is not already organized, ask if you can post a flyer about starting one to gauge community interest and build it from there. It takes just one person to start it up, so be open to that one person being you.

3. Local Travel Shops
Visiting your local travel shop to prepare for your upcoming adventures is a great way to get what you need while putting money back into your own community. This is also where you will find solid recommendations from people whose business is travel. Most shops will carry guidebooks and maps, as well as travel supplies and comforts that make those long, hard travel days a little easier.

I like to browse through my local shops to see what is new and useful, and also to talk to other travelers about their upcoming adventures. A cool thing that our local shop does, is host community slide shows and trip presentations events. You don’t need to be a professional storyteller or photographer; they just ask that you put together a sample of your favorites photos and stories to share. These events are always packed with people who are wanting to go to a particular destination, and others who like me, may need a little touch of the places they love. As with the book groups, if your local shop doesn’t already host these community presentation events, ask if you can give one a try to build interest and encourage others to offer their own. It is a win-win for travel lovers and the hosting store owners who will likely get new customers from the event.

4. Online Travel Communities
There are many excellent family travel blogs that chronicle the lives of families living out their dreams of travel. Familiesontheroad.com is a blog roll of some incredible and resourceful families who are traveling together by land, air and sea. There are also online travel communities to inspire you and where you can ask and answer questions. Lonely Planet’s Thorn Tree is a free travel forum that gets heavy participation and top-notch replies from travelers in the know.

Boba Family is another great family travel resource, so be sure to check out our travel-centered blogs. Included are interviews with families who do extended travel or “live on the road,” loads of tips from seasoned travelers and many how-tos—all free and available to you at BobaFamily.com.

5. Cooking
For me and my family, one of the best parts of traveling abroad is enjoying the local food. We look for cooking classes in the cities and villages where we are staying. Most classes will include a guided trip to traditional, neighborhood markets where farmers and other artisans bring their meat, cheese, fruits and spices to sell and trade. These tours help you discover how a particular dish gets that unique flavor and which kitchen tools help produce the most traditional results. When we travel, we always try to bring home indigenous honeys and specialty spices. Check your home country’s regulations on any possible restriction for what you can bring back with you.

Once home and missing our favorite flavors, we head to our own kitchen to recreate (As best as we can!) the dishes that take us back with each bite. My husband is also a master packer and has been able to bring home several pieces of specialty pottery from our travels around the world. My most treasured pieces are a black Chambra soup pot from Colombia and a comal from Mexico that offers the most authentic flavors when toasting spices and chiles.

Hopefully, these tips will carry you between your travels. And until your next journey, I wish you happy homesteading and lovely reminders of your travels past and dreams of travels to come. Remember, your love of travel is a wonderful thing to share, so take part in your community at home and encourage everyone to dream of travel. The world is big and beautiful and just waiting for you to discover yourself in it.

Hiking and backpacking as a family is great way to get into varied terrain and wild places that are protected from life’s modern day trappings. Look for destinations that have natural features that appeal to you. I choose trails that weave along lakes and streams. My husband looks for routes with elevation gain. Wherever you decide on, pick a route that fits your abilities so that you enjoy yourselves. Remember to wear good fitting shoes and to bring water and snacks for both the adults and kids. If you have a toddler like we do, this is the age to see if using your Boba’s removable foot straps will make your child’s ride even more comfortable. Each Boba carrier includes two coordinating foot straps that are fully adjustable and that snap on and off with ease.

I would like to introduce you to some wonderful Boba Families who have shared their outdoor adventures with us. Get ready to be inspired by these incredible families and beautiful locations. And now it is your turn to join in the fun, so lace up your shoes, grab your Boba and head for the hills!

“This photo was taken in May 2010 on our first family holiday. We borrowed a friends VW camper van and headed to the lake district for a week. The weather could not have been better despite it raining none stop the week before. This photo means so much to me as it was my husbands first day wearing a proper sling as my husband looks so proud of himself and his boy. He had insisted on taking a mass produced front pack but we hadn’t even made it out of the car park to begin our 8hour hike up to Blencathra (also known as Saddleback) in the Lake District before he had decided it was too uncomfortable (Henry was 20weeks and 16lb) and although skeptical at first when he saw the birdies he agreed to wear it. He ended up carrying Henry on his front and a huge ruck sack on his back, only getting Henry down so I could feed him. There is nothing better than feeding half way up a mountain when the sun is shining and there isn’t a sole to be seen. The Lake District is where I am at my happiest and it was wonderful that we could share our first holiday and first ‘proper’ daddy babywearing experiencethere. I look forward to taking Isaac in November. Throughout the walk, the number of people who stopped us or who commented on the sling was unbelievable. The cutest comment of the trip? A little boy who shouted ‘look mummy, there is a tiny baby in there, doesn’t he look snug.’” • Rachel Coy

“My husband and I do a hike once a week that is 1.25 miles each way with a not-so-gradual incline. The attached picture is my husband wearing our 19-month-old son up to Hanging Lake in Glenwood Springs, Colorado.” • Nicole Newcomb

“I have a Boba 3G in Tweet that I absolutely LOVE!!  We recently went camping in the Santa Cruz mountains in CA and I wore my 1 year old daughter a lot.  We hiked, went to the beach and to the Monterey Bay Aquarium and I would have been lost without my Boba!” • Cori

“Hiking is what my husband and I do on the weekends. Our first date was a lung-busting hike to a high mountain lake, and since then we’ve backpacked and hiked all over Eastern Oregon, as well as anywhere we can find a trail when traveling. When our daughter was born 5 years ago, our hiking life didn’t stop — we just tucked her in a pack. I exclusively breastfed, so snuggling our baby girl in a pack was great bonding time for my husband. She went everywhere with us in hand-me-down external frame backpacks. A couple hours was usually her limit, unless she took a snooze, and snacks are a must! When I was pregnant with my son two years ago, I happened upon a cool-looking pack named Boba. It had good reviews, so I gave it a try. I am SO glad I did. The Boba and babywearing soothed my cranky baby when nothing else worked. My husband, at first, was skeptical of this pack, which seemed so simple compared to those others. He’s a Boba convert. Just the other day, after a tough hike, he said he could wear it for hours and not have sore shoulders (Max might not be that patient, however) and “wearing” the baby so close makes balance a breeze. The key is to find the pack that fits best — and that your child will tolerate! Now our 5-year-old hikes along with us and her brother rides along on his daddy’s back. Snacks and water are always packed, and the occasional stick to wield has helped us avoid a baby meltdown. Our hikes are slower and shorter now, but I hope that in a few years we’ll be able to backpack and camp as a family. I want them to love nature as much as we do!” • Lisa Jacoby

“I remember going to New Paltz, NY as a kid with my family and then started going more often as an adult.  I always made sure to go in October because its absolutely gorgeous up there in the fall. This picture was taken in October of 2011 when my son, Jackson was 14 months old, and the night before we left I found out that I was pregnant. We went to Mohonk Mountain in the Shawangunks and this particular picture was taken at the top of Bonticou Crag trail on the Mohonk Preserve. We always stay at Clove Cottages where there’s limited TV, no computers and no phones in the cottages which is a nice break outside the hustle and bustle of NYC life.  They also have llamas and chickens on the grounds which Jackson loved. I wasn’t then, and I’m still not in the best of shape, so while hiking I was huffing and puffing a little and Jackson found it absolutely hysterical, along with pulling on my pigtails.  We are going back again this October, when my husband will carry Jackson (now 2) and I will wear our daughter Layla who will be 4 months then in ourBoba 3G. We plan to make it a family tradition to go every year!” • Kandice

“My daughter, Makenzie, and I hiking outside Fairbanks, Alaska this summer.” • Nikki Vandiver

“My two-year old son and I with my sister, her two-year old son, her husband and our dad toured the Tsankawi Ruins, part of Bandolier National Monument in New Mexico on a hot day in July. My sister and I never leave home without our baby carriers. Many of the paths at this site, worn into soft limestone by thousands of years of human feet, are less than a foot wide, making the Ruins inaccessible by stroller.  The mesa top can only be accessed by ladder (or rock-climbing, as the ancient people did). I helped my son navigate the first ladder up to the mesa top, but coming down was more precarious, so into the carrier he went and he rode down safely on my back. On the next level, the path wound pretty close to a sheer drop, so much of the time he rode in the carrier for my piece of mind, and later he fell asleep. Both boys loved exploring the cave-houses, and it is something they could not have enjoyed for years to come if it weren’t for baby wearing.We decided to try baby wearing when my son was born, and to wait to buy a stroller when we really needed one. He is 26 months old and 30 pounds now and we’ve worn out the first carrier we bought. We replaced it with a Bobaand still haven’t felt the need for a stroller. It is wonderful to be able to carry a toddler for as long as he needs, to snuggle on the go, and to have the freedom to navigate the Metro, the Aquarium, Anasazi ruins, or wherever the adventure takes us, traveling light.” • Rachel O’Donnell

It seems like more and more families are looking to keep it simple when it comes to what they register for or buy themselves to use with their families. It was the same for my husband and me; we registered for children’s books to build our family library and then some essential items like swaddles and cloth diapers, but otherwise we kept it pretty minimal. In fact, some items that we have had around the house for years have been the most useful after our son’s birth. Here are five handy items that have done double duty during our first 16 months together as a family.

1. Thermos: In the last three months of my pregnancy, I would regularly wake about 3:00 am and my stomach would want tea. It was a sleepy battle some mornings, when my stomach wanted tea, but the rest of me was not interested in crawling out from under the warm down comforter to put on the kettle. At some point during one of my nesty cleaning binges, I rediscovered my old thermos. From then on my predawn tea cravings were tended to while I kept warm under the blankets. Just before tucking in for the night, I would brew some organic chamomile tea to keep next to the bed, then I could take sips of something hot that would also help me fall back asleep. On most mornings it was just the thing I needed, unless my very crowded bladder had plans of its own.

2. Headlamp: During the first few months of your little’s life, when you are changing more nighttime diapers (or other nighttime care item if you are EC-ing) than you can believe possible, a head lamp can be your best friend. My husband and I really wanted to avoid what we called, “the hard wake up,” which meant that even when we were dog-tired, we could not fall back to sleep after being woken up. The headlamp let us take quick, stealthy peeks at our son without fully waking him, or ourselves, in the process. And if we did need to change him, we would keep the main lights off in the house and just pop on the headlamp to get the job done. Ever seen a Nascar pit team get to work during a race? Well, we may have not gotten it down to seconds, we did get pretty darn fast with the diaper and then back into bed. If you are in the market for a new headlamp, I recommend something that has a red light on it, and a diffuser is nice too. The red light is bright enough to do the trick and is easy on everyone’s barely awake eyes, including the baby’s.

3. Mesh Bags: We have a whole slew of mesh drawstring bags around our house and garage. My husband uses them to organize our cords, adapters and other electronics that we take with us when we are traveling. We also use them to store and transport odd bits of camping gear. With the addition of tiny colorful socks to our laundry this past year, these mesh bags got called up for a new duty as a sock wrangler. We put all of our son’s socks, along with other smaller items like hats and mittens, into a mesh bag before tossing the whole thing into the washer. And because the bags are mesh, the socks wash up perfectly and can go directly into the dryer too, keeping everything together in one place. From dirty to clean without a single missing sock is some serious momma-loving magic.

4. Plastic Kitchen Funnel: This is a multitasking item that my son discovered when rummaging through the kitchen cupboards as I made dinner. The funnel then made it into the bathtub–where so many things around our house now find themselves–and this is where it’s served it’s best purpose yet, as a happy-face hair rinser. My toddler does not mind if some water gets in his eyes when we are rising out the shampoo, but using a funnel helps to eliminate it completely by directing the water where you want it to go, and avoiding the ears and face where many little ones would prefer not to be splashed. The funnel works like a charm and makes rinsing a quick and tear-free job.

5. Cold Clothes for Teething: Teething can be tough work for our little ones. Some children get fevers and diarrhea, and some even experience pain that radiates into their faces and inner ears. My son’s first molars are coming in right now and offering him something safe to comfort and soothe his discomfort is important to me. While some kids want chewy things to work against those puffy tooth buds, my son initiated using harder items to soothe his teething pain. So in taking his lead, I have found that homemade teething clothes work great for him. As I did for myself during my pregnancy, I begin by brewing a cup of organic chamomile tea. After the tea cools, I soak clean, soft clothes in the tea and put them in the freezer to firm up. After a few hours, they are ready to be offered to your child to gum on and to help cool inflamed gums.

It is springtime again in Colorado where I live with my family in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. For us, that means a shift from short days and cold nights, to longer days and nighttime temperatures that will continue to rise throughout the summer. Many of our trees are starting their first flush and the soil is warming up enough to turn over. The longer, sunnier days are begging us to shake off that winter funk and to get outside together as a family, and gardening is the perfect way to put some spring in our collective step.

Children thrive with time spent outside digging in the soil with their hands, or with a stick that fits the bill perfectly. Again, for them it is about time spent together as a family and the chance to feel that they are part of the natural world. You don’t need a large plot or a farm to do the trick. Start with what you have, whether it is a small bit of space reserved in your yard or some containers on your balcony. Believe it or not, you don’t even need a green thumb; just match yourself with plants that can thrive on what you can offer, and go for it.

When we are getting ready to head outside, we grab large spoons from the kitchen, empty yogurt containers and any other odd bits from the kitchen that will make it fun to play in the soil now, as well as make it easier to clean up later. Once we have our items, we settle into the garden or gather around a garden pot and let the play begin. I make time and space for my son to dig and explore without any gardening goals. Tiny hands like to seek out stones, worms and wet soil to pack together. Set your seeds and starter plants away from this space of free play, and do your planting together where you can guide your child through the process and share important jobs like planting the seeds and then covering them with soil. This is a chance to talk with your child about the interconnectedness of seeds and the sun, and the rain and warmth that will go into making it come alive, and grow into it’s full potential.

Outside of the healing qualities of nature, and the precious family time together, gardening is another way to build your younger child’s vocabulary for items not normally found in our day-to-day lives. Name items like the trowel, or rake; name the types of seeds and have them explore the color, size and shapes of them. Hold worms and bugs in your hands to keep them safe and in one piece, then marvel together at the similarities and difference between each one, your child included.

For older children, gardening is a way to observe a full growth cycle in nature, taking a plant from seed to bloom, to fruit. Waiting for that little seed to emerge from the ground teaches patience and offers a sense of time that differs from the routines of our normal days. Caring for a seedling until it flowers or fruits teaches investment and reward, as well as offering your child responsibility and the chance to care for another growing thing. They also get to taste the literal fruits of their labors, and nothing teaches a child more about the taste and treat of real food than a bite of a garden ripe tomato. You can also bring your flowers and garden finds indoors for rainy day crafts, or when winter wants to toss one last snowball at you.

I recently read a comic that said, “Gardening is cheaper and quicker than therapy, and you also get tomatoes.” It is true that spending time in the natural world does us all good, adults and children alike. It clears the mind and gives our hands real purpose. So, gather up yourself and your little ones, and any items that you may need, and go make yourselves happy and dirty.