Five Fun Responses to Critical Parenting Questions
Every parent knows that always-someone out there: friend, relative, even the passing stranger, who feels as if they need to critique the choices youâ€™ve made for your family. Instead of getting angry or defensive, Iâ€™ve created a few snappy responses!
â€śWhen do you plan on stopping nursing?â€ť Response: â€śNot sure, but thank you for taking such an interest in my bodily fluids.â€ť
â€śSTILL breastfeeding?â€ť Response: â€śIâ€™m not nursing. My baby tumbled and I broke his fall with my nipple.â€ť
â€śWe want to feed the baby, too.â€ť Response: â€śIâ€™ll handle what goes in, you can take care of what comes out.â€ť (From @HeatherArtLife)
â€śCo-sleeping is weird. Donâ€™t you have a crib?â€ť Response: â€śYes, and we prefer to use it to store laundry.â€ť
â€śCo-sleeping is unhealthy. Everyone needs their own bed.â€ť Response: â€śSaid the bed factory.â€ť
â€śHomebirth? Ew! What will you do with the mess?â€ť Response: â€śMake candles for Christmas gifts. Whatâ€™s your address again?â€ť
â€śHomebirth? So dangerous!â€ť Response: â€śDonâ€™t worry, after baby is born we plan to raise her inside of an actual hospital. Just to be safe.â€ť
â€śHomebirth? Are you crazy?â€ť Response: â€śHave you seen gas prices? This will save TWO trips.â€ť
â€śYour baby will never learn to walk.â€ť Response: â€śWeâ€™ll cross that bridge when the time comes. Wellâ€¦ Iâ€™ll crossâ€¦ heâ€™ll be in a carrier.â€ť
â€śCanâ€™t you just use a stroller?â€ť Response: â€śWhen the zombies come, being hands-free is going to be essential for survival.â€ť
â€śSheâ€™ll never WALK!â€ť Response: “How else will I make sure she never leaves me? (must be said with a straight face).
Do you have any funny comebacks to share? Post them in the comments!